I’ve decided to take a drastic step. Drastic, to me, who has been living online ever since I lost my job 2 years ago. Cyberspace replaced the real life I lost. Why, you might ask? Have I suddenly found a real life? Do I have a big family – kids, husband – that I’m desperately seeking? Have I managed to move to my dream house? Or found the wonderful job that is both emotionally and financially rewarding? Sadly the answer is no. I’m still stuck where I was. Perhaps even more stuck after the events of the last months. There are however signs that things are about to change.

What stops me from both staying in cyberspace and trying to change things in my real life? Well, there are a few reasons. The main reason is that the internet doesn’t give me that much anymore. I used to have friends online. Friends that were just as important as any real life friends. Now, I seem to find myself between close friends. People are changing, and of course that’s understandable. Another reason is that with the persons I still know online, the balance has shifted. I considered people to be friends, they saw me as just someone whose name they knew. People I cared about seem to forget about my existence as soon as I disappear from their screens for a few minutes.

It’s not a good situation and since I can’t make people like me, I need to lower my expectations to their level. What I’ll do now is I won’t completely disappear from cyberspace. I’ll still start up my computer, I’ll still check for emails. Those of you who have my email address will be able to contact me if you want. I’d be really happy if you did. I will however stop checking my Adium with the chat accounts I have connected to it. So those of you who used to chat with me on that, won’t be able to anymore. It probably won’t be a problem since it’s been a very long time since anyone I know was online. I’ll still blog from time to time even though someone recently said I was only “Dwelling on injustices” when I do. If you believe that, just stop reading. To paraphrase a famous song title – it’s my blog and I’ll dwell if I want to!

Twitter is out too. I’ve been there for two years and during that time I’ve had a lot of laughs, but even more tears. I’ll leave for the tears, but will miss the laughs.